Warrior Father

Tarah is now in her 24th week of pregnancy. It is the most amazing thing to see. The whole process of watching the changes of pregnancy. I am on the edge of my seat because whenever I get to see pictures of the steady growth it is mind boggling to even imagine that a human is growing inside of my wife. The pregnancy seems to be more real now to. We can see progress of what is happening through the growth of my wife's belly.

With this renewed realness comes the ever present reality that I am on the verge of being a father. I thought I would give you guys some access into what I have been thinking and reading about. What follows is an article that I wrote for our platoon newsletter.

The warrior father. This phrase flirts on the edge of being an oxymoron. Jumbo shrimp. Freezer burn. Two words that don’t seem to go together. Two words that are complete opposites but when put together are found to be a very unique word combination. Yes, the warrior father definitely has the potential to be an oxymoron. You think of warrior and you get images of brawn and strength. Accuracy and precision. A human machine that has a one track mind. Cold and exacting. You think of father and you get images of caretaker, bill payer, and minivan driver. A man who thinks only with his heart. Soft on the edges and banal.

Yet, isn’t this what we need? Like our jumbo shrimp, the combination of “warrior” and “father” does more than create another interesting oxymoron. The bringing together of these two words creates a desire, a craving. A portrait of something that burns deep in the heart of men. A longing to be the man that is full of brawn, courage, and valor. The man that saves the day with his brute force and loves with his heart. The man who balances the warrior and the father. Power with passion.

I find myself thinking of things like “warrior father” quite a bit lately. In early June my wife and I found out that we would be having a baby. The joy of this news, I can safely say, led to one of the happiest moments of my marriage. Yet, I was also inundated with thoughts of, “Oh crap, I am going to be a daddy”! The weight of this new aspect of my manhood hit me like a ton of bricks. Will I have what it takes? Will I be good? Will I love right? Can I love wrong? I was overwhelmed at this new fatherly role that was placed upon me with one phone call to my wife.

So I began to think of what it means to be “fatherly”. I began to realize that just being “fatherly” wouldn’t cut it. There was another aspect of becoming a father that needed to be meshed into this whole fatherhood thing. The warrior. But you can’t have one without the other. My family doesn’t just need the father. My family doesn’t just need the warrior. They need the one-two punch of the warrior father. A man who can display his might one moment and can turn and love with his heart the next. Command with zeal.

It is the warrior father who stares down the questions of his new position. He engages. He connects. He doesn’t let the unknown defeat him. He tackles the mystery headlong. The warrior father. Does he have questions? Oh yes. Does he always have answers? Oh no. He learns from his mistakes and relishes in his victories. Victories that can only come from living in the mystery, fighting like a warrior, and loving like a father.

I can not wait to hold my baby girl in my hands.

Welcome Back...But I Am Definately Not Kotter

Yes. Yes it is true. It is yours truly re-entering the blogging world. There is this great thing in the world that has made its way to Iraq. This great thing is satellite internet. I never thought I would be able to sit in my barracks and surf the web. It completely blows me away. Maybe like it is blowing you away that I have actually updated my blog since mid August. Goo.

Well, I have done many a thing since mid August. So instead of bringing on the boredom of the 3 month plus catch up I thought I would amuse with some random musings running through my head at the moment. Warning: It is late at night and I am very tired.

Thinking about the Welcome Back Kotter reference has got me thinking about everyone's favorite teacher Gabe Kaplan. Mainly ol' Gabe has been running through my head because he sports one fine caucasian afro. The fro has me firmly entranced. Honestly I didn't even know who this mega tv star was that played Kotter on the series. I found out through the very informative Jerry Seinfeld. I was watching Seifeld on DVD and he made some reference to Gabe Kaplan and the joke rolled right off me. Then the next day I was reading a magazine that had an article about the Gabester. Once I made the Kotter/Kaplan connection the Seinfeld joke turned out to be one of his best jokes during that episode. Hmm. Very wierd.

The Kotter show also introduced to us a very young John Travolta. I mean come on. Who could resist the charm of the Sweathogs? John we still love you and always have.

"What?"
"Vinny is looking at me?"
"Oh, how can I resist that look. Please Vinny. Stop it some more."

Enough Kotter flashbacks. It is definately good to be back.